What is Forever?
by SP-in-Sirius-Denial
Summary: Sirius and Remus ponder death, then they experience it first hand and all their questions are answered. Kind of depressing but has a happy ending. Not slash, but could be if you want it to be ;)


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, JKR does, I just decided to put my words in there mouths...got it?  
  
Enjoy :)  
  
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"Hey, Remus?" Sirius started, lounging on a couch with his feet on the table. Remus was doing the same to his left. For a while they had been staring out the window, seeing nothing but the clear blue sky and the occasional owl.  
  
"Yeah, Sir?"  
  
"What do you think there is after death?"  
  
Remus was startled by the question. He was expecting to hear a new prank idea or a story about an earlier class, but not something so deep, not from Sirius. Remus took his feet off the table and turned to Sirius.  
  
"What's brought this on?"  
  
"I dunno...I was just thinking about it. I mean...can there be nothing after you die....does everything just-disappear. Do you even realize you've died? Your body stops working but does your mind...Is the only way to live on is to become a ghost?"  
  
"That's a tough one Sirius," Remus said setting his feet back on the table.  
  
The two sat in silence for a while longer, each contemplating life, death, and the universe around them.  
  
Finally Remus spoke, "I think there must be something after we die. What a waste it would all be if we just...stopped."  
  
"Yeah...we'd never see each other again. What would be the point of relationships?"  
  
"There has to be a place...a place where our souls can meet again," Remus said thoughtfully.  
  
"Like Heaven?"  
  
"I don't really like the idea of Heaven," Remus replied heavily. "I certainly wouldn't get to go there if it existed."  
  
"Why? You've never done anything wrong."  
  
Remus smiled sadly, shaking his head. "Sirius, I'm an evil creature...how could I get to Heaven? I'd be doomed to live in Hell for eternity."  
  
"Don't say that!" Sirius said, pushing his friends arm lightly.  
  
"That's why I'm saying I don't like the idea...I think there's just a place where the good, the bad, the old, the young...they all go there when they die. I don't know where it would be...or what it would be, but everyone would be there."  
  
Sirius gave him a half smile and said, "I like that better Moony."  
  
"Me too...but maybe there really is nothing and the end really is the end."  
  
"I can't stand thinking that it's nothing..." Sirius said. "It's just too- would it be like sleeping...without dreaming?"  
  
Remus shrugged.  
  
"Really, Sirius, this is depressing, why are you thinking so morbidly all of a sudden?"  
  
Sirius let out a deep breath. "It's this Lord Voldemort thing. He could get any one of us...so easily. I can't imagine if I were to be his next victim...or one of you guys. One day we'll all be here and the next one of us could be gone. Forever."  
  
"Damn," Remus said, resting his head against the back of the couch and looking at the high ceiling.  
  
"Sorry, I depressed you Rem."  
  
"S'okay Sirius...I probably would have started thinking like this too."  
  
"I just really wish I could know right now what will happen when we all die. I'd be so much less worried about it."  
  
"Yeah...it'll be our final marauding adventure."  
  
Again the two sat in silence for a long while.  
  
Suddenly Sirius stood up. "I have to go," he mumbled and sped towards the Portrait Hole.  
  
"Sirius-" Remus started but the portrait already shut. He sighed and stood up. If he followed him directly Remus knew he could find him, but he decided to give him a little time alone. He slowly made his way up to the boys dormitory to get the Marauders Map.  
  
Peter was curled up on his bed taking an early afternoon nap and James was digging under his bed, looking for a pair of clean pants.  
  
"Hey James...where's the map?"  
  
"Why? You and Sirius going marauding?" James popped out from under his bed looking quite comical. His glasses were skewed and his messy black hair was decorated by giant dust bunnies.  
  
Remus suppressed his laughter and shook his head, "I'm going to go look for Sirius actually."  
  
"Wasn't he downstairs with you?"  
  
"Yeah but...he took off and I want to find him."  
  
James nodded and reached into his bedside table, pulling out the map. He handed it to Remus and said, "Do you want me to come with you?"  
  
"No, that's alright. I'll be fine."  
  
"Are you sure? Why did he take off anyway?"  
  
"Uh-I'll tell you later okay? I want to go now."  
  
James gave him a weird look but nodded anyway.  
  
"Well if you can't find him, come get me."  
  
"I will. See you James."  
  
"Bye Moony," James replied and crawled back under his bed.  
  
Remus took off down the stairs with the map in his hands. He stood in front of the portrait hole searching the map for Sirius's name.  
  
After a few minutes searching he found it. Sirius was stationary by the edge of the forbidden forest, across from the lake. Remus immediately set off to follow his friend to the spot.  
  
It took him about five minutes to reach him. Sirius was sitting against a tree with his knees to his chest. His face was buried in his hands so he didn't see his friend's arrival.  
  
Quietly, Remus stepped up to him and knelt down.  
  
"Sirius, are you alright?"  
  
Sirius's head snapped up and Remus saw that his face was lined with tears.  
  
"I want to be alone right now Moony."  
  
"I don't think you should be...your talk about death is really kind of scaring me."  
  
"What you think I'm going to kill myself so I can find out?"  
  
"Right now I wouldn't rule that out."  
  
Sirius looked down at the ground. "I just don't know Moony...I mean any day could be the end for any of us. You and James and Pete...you're like my brothers. Without you guys I don't know what I'd do...how can we ever be separated?"  
  
"It's going to happen though Sirius. Even if there is something after death, at least for some years we will be separated."  
  
"I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like Rem," Sirius muttered, tears still falling down his face  
  
"Me neither, Padfoot. But you can't dwell on it like this. We have to live still...just don't think about death think about today, and tomorrow."  
  
Sirius nodded roughly and wiped at his tears.  
  
"Here," Remus said reaching into his pockets and withdrawing a tissue.  
  
Sirius grabbed it and gave Remus a watery smile. Remus moved closer to the tree and sat down beside his friend. He wrapped his arm over Sirius's back and squeezed his shoulder supportively.  
  
"I'm here now...and I will be as long as I can."  
  
"Me too," Sirius said and leaned back against the tree and Remus.  
  
"Think you can keep death out of your mind?"  
  
"Not sure...but I'll try."  
  
"I guess that's good enough."  
  
"And if you find the answers to those questions you asked...you'll let me know right?"  
  
"You'll be the first person I'll tell," Sirius replied with a grin.  
  
"Good," Remus muttered and leaned back as well. Together they watched over the lake until the sun began to set.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Remus sat on the couch in the Most Ancient House of Black with his feet resting on the table. He had just returned from the Ministry of Magic where his recently rebuilt world had just fallen apart. Sirius was gone.  
  
Tears streamed down his face as he thought back to there discussion about the afterlife.  
  
"Sirius," he whispered. "Where are you? You promised me you'd tell me the answers when you got them...you know now! Why aren't you telling me? I need to know! Please!" he was now screaming as loud as he could.  
  
"Will I ever see you again, Sirius?" Remus asked as calmly as he could. "Are you gone forever?! I still need you...What am I supposed to do without you?"  
  
Trying to control his tears Remus tried to think of a way to get his life back together. Sirius had been terrified of dying but he managed to live his life until the time of his death arrived. Remus knew that he must now do the same.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Remus!" Harry called and ran to his fallen friend. He had just delivered the final spell to conquer the Dark Lord. However, he did it a few minutes too late as one of Voldemort's followers had hit Remus with some curse that mortally wounded him.  
  
Harry, now in his mid twenties, knelt beside the man who had taken him in after he graduated from Hogwarts. They had become close friends, almost like brothers. "Remus....please don't die. I need you, I can't lose anyone else!" Harry pleaded, tears streaming down his cheek.  
  
Remus shakily reached for Harry's hand and gripped it tightly. "You did it Harry...Didn't I always tell you that you had the power? I knew you could do it...I have to go now Harry...I love you...I will see you again," he said confidently, though he still had his doubts. However, as he closed his eyes, ending it all, he was relieved to finally know what would come after death.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Slowly Remus peeled his eyes open. Bright light was all around him, causing him to squint. He sat up and looked around all he could see was white.  
  
Confused he stood up. Upon hearing footsteps and a door creak open he turned around. There he was met with the biggest shock of his life (or death).  
  
"'Bout time you woke up," came a voice he had longed to hear again for ten long years.  
  
"Sirius...?!"  
  
"Yeah buddy...you miss me?"  
  
Remus ran forward and threw his arms around his old friend. Sirius squeezed him back and they stayed that way for a long while. "You were right Rem."  
  
"Right about what?"  
  
"What there is after death. Everyone's here the good....and the bad. I ran into Pete the other day, man I gave him a piece of my mind."  
  
"Pete's dead?"  
  
"Yeah, died a year ago. I guess Voldemort got sick of him."  
  
Remus sat back down, completely bewildered. "I never-never thought I'd see you again Padfoot. This can't-"  
  
"Can't what?"  
  
"Be real."  
  
"Oh but it is. The minute I got here I wanted to go back down and tell you...but they wouldn't let me."  
  
"I missed you so much Sir," Remus said thickly.  
  
Sirius sat beside him and put an arm over his shoulders. "I missed you too. Not a moment went by when I didn't think of you...down there by yourself. The last marauder. I wouldn't wish that position on anyone."  
  
"It hasn't been easy," Remus said. "But I don't want to dwell on the past. We're together again Padfoot. I had told you we would be, but I really didn't believe it would come to be."  
  
A new voice entered the room, "Hey Padfoot! Is he up yet?"  
  
"Yeah but if he hadn't been he would be with your yelling you great dolt!"  
  
Remus looked up to see James Potter walking towards him with that old cocky grin on his face. Tears filled his eyes as James neared him. He stood up and embraced James, trying to hold in his tears. Sirius smiled at the two.  
  
"Missed ya Rem."  
  
"I missed you too."  
  
"How's my little guy?"  
  
"Not so little anymore...but he's doing great. He just finished off Voldemort."  
  
"He did! I knew he could do it. Wait until I tell Lily."  
  
"This is so surreal," Remus thought outloud.  
  
James and Sirius laughed at him. "We felt the same way when we first arrived....but you get used to it."  
  
"So-this is where we spend the rest of...forever?"  
  
They both nodded.  
  
"Well what do we do forever?"  
  
"Whatever we want...this is a true Utopia, Rem...nothing bad can happen here...everything is perfect. This is our reward."  
  
"What about people like Peter? They get rewarded too?"  
  
"Not really. People like Peter are ridiculed by everyone else here...for them it's not Utopia, it's kind of the opposite. They're idea of happiness comes from hurting others....People can't hurt each other here."  
  
"Weird..."  
  
"Yeah," James said. "You don't look so hot Remus...age did not do you well."  
  
"Thanks James," Remus replied sarcastically.  
  
"Don't worry about it though, a few days here and you'll be back to your younger, happier self. Is that how Sirius looked when you last saw him?"  
  
Remus looked at Sirius who looked a fresh twenty-one. Amazed, he shook his head.  
  
"You had a tough life Rem, we all did...it's time to relax and have a good time...no more worries!" Sirius said excitedly.  
  
Remus let tears of happiness stream down his face once more as he hugged each of his old friends who he had missed so much. There was a time where they had thought they'd be separated forever but it turned out they'd always be together.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So, what do you think. That's my first one shot story. I found it rather difficult to do, having an intro and conclusion all in one chapter. I actually started writing this story because of a conversation my friends and I had about death, and what else there is in the universe. It really blows my mind to think about  
  
For example, the universe is constantly expanding, right? So what's beyond the universe? Nothing? What's nothing? It's just too weird for me....  
  
So please tell me what you think of this little ficcy, I'm kinda proud of it, though I'll admit, it could have been written a little better. 


End file.
